School is a crazy time for all involved. Attempting to carve human beings from immature and creatively destructive lumps of child-clay can be enough to drive most teachers to the bottle. Pile on top of that the pressures from parent groups, regulatory boards and the constant threat of terrible role models from the world of pop music. Imagine a whole classroom of Nicki Minajs; lip gloss and curse words everywhere. Nightmare!
If all that wasn’t bad enough, teachers face the daunting task of exam marking; the most laborious and mind-numbing job in the whole of teacherdom. Thank the stars then for the creativity of children. What follows is a rundown of fifteen of the greatest exam answers ever concocted by their precious minds. No talking at the back.
15. Honestly Wrong Answer
In exam situations, it is generally best to at least put something on paper, even if you have no clue what the question is asking you for. This chap did exactly that and got 1.5 marks for it. Remember that next time you have to fill in your tax return.
14. The If in Doubt Wrong Answer
We have no idea what the test question is after either. Neither can we draw whales. We would have failed miserably.
13. The Internet Savvy Wrong Answer
All that time spent on Call of Duty was about to pay off for this youngster – or so he thought. Sadly, angry and confused threats over an online war simulator rarely produce any usable knowledge other than information regarding your alleged sexuality and how to correctly disassemble and maintain most major assault rifles. The American military will be delighted.
12. The Threatening Wrong Answer
This student is an angry, misguided individual with delusions of extreme power and giant hands, one of which has a touch of the MC Escher about it. Judging by his response, I don’t think the teacher was too put off by the threat of being bisected by his student, however.
11. The Nyan Wrong Answer
Will your teacher understand this titan of an internet meme? No, but that has not stopped this studious young rebel from adorning their answer sheet with said Poptart encrusted feline.
10. Snakes on a Wrong Answer
Oh Sam Jackson, will you ever learn. The greatest actor of our generation (sort of) has here been reduced to mere mockery for the delight of one procrastinating student. We don’t remember a giant flying Nazi snake in the film though, but then again, we didn’t see the directors cut.
9. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Wrong Answer
This entry is the first of many wrong answers that explore the artistic flourishes of which some students are capable. This particular one earns bonus marks for being steeped in 1980s nostalgia. He would have received bonus marks from us had he drawn Michelangelo as opposed to Leonardo. Leonardo was an uptight plum.
8. The Saucy Wrong Answer
We can’t quite make out what this particular question is asking for, but we can quite safely say it would not involve drawing a sexy lady lounging provocatively on a graph. If that is what the question is asking for, then school has changed a lot since were there.
7. The Inner City Wrong Answer
Things are tough for teachers. Low wages and constant pressure from above can drive many to desperation. Usually, this ends in a procession of unionized educators staring at you stony-faced as you flatly refuse to honk your horn in their support. Mrs. Edwards, on the other hand, started taking crystal meth.
6. The Outrageously Clever Wrong Answer
The teacher of this particular student could do nothing. They were outsmarted… we were all outsmarted. This child could run NASA and MENSA at the same time. We bow to him.
5. The Magical Reappearing Giraffe Wrong Answers
It’s always best to have an insurance policy with most things. A small drawing of a chipper giraffe won’t be enough to prevent much – a car crash for example – but in this case it may just save the hide of a plucky student.
Not content with ruining one answer sheet, Magical Reappearing giraffe has turned up again.
… and again.
How about these giraffes?
4. The Tetris Wrong Answer
A generation of intellect was fed on Tetris, our minds were crafted into slick, processing machines thanks to these 7 oddly shaped blocks. Now we can all pack cars with the precision of a robot. Perhaps this child has thought about it too much as well.
3. Yo! Wrong Answer
Today’s trendy teens all munch down sushi as opposed to the more traditional moon pie and lemon sherbet of yester year. Be that as it may, it’s not ok to abbreviate swear words during your exam, no matter how hungry you are.
2. Nelly, the Wrong Answer
Ah, we all knew a kid at school like this. They thought they were better than everyone else because they had the nerve to say the one thing everyone else was thinking. Of course, there was an elephant in the way. At least this child has made light of one of the most pointless exam questions ever. How often would you need this knowledge in the real world… unless you build sprung skateboard ramps.
1. FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU Wrong Answer!
What better way to end than with a pure expression of how we all felt at one time during an exam. It’s not going to get you into college and the person sat next to you might wonder what you’re doing, but it’ll feel magnificent when you hand it in. That’ll show them.
So, there we have it; fifteen ways to fail an exam. If you are a student and have a period of exams coming up, you should probably stop reading this and get back to studying. Also, if you are facing down a rather daunting multiple choice exam, do not fret. You can express yourself just as violently as those we’ve already looked at. Have fun out there.
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